So, an awesome thing happened to me the other day. As most of you know I am an Army Recruiter so I spend alot of time driving around in a government vehicle to schools and other places. As you can imagine there are alot and I mean ALOT of rules that apply to make sure our vehicles are taken care of and not abused. Alot is basic safety stuff. I was driving down a pretty busy Rucker Boulevard headed to Ozark to go to the high school and recieved a text message on my cell. Well, of course we are not supposed to be on our phones while driving and I suggest no one does, but I grabbed my phone and checked it as my phone has a preview thing it does to show me what the alert is. Just as soon as I picked up the phone and glanced down, I glanced back up and looked to my left and there was another military guy on a motorcycle peering into my car with a very, very unhappy look. I disregarded it and pulled over for gas. Once, I got to the gate I was asked by the Gate guard if I had stopped for gas which I thought was a very peculiar question. I replied that I had and he proceeded to tell me that the Soldier on the motorcycle was in fact a Sergeant Major and told him to inform me that I knew I was not supposed to be on a cell phone or speeding in a government vehicle and I needed to pull my head out of my Fifth point of contact. (Which for those who dont know is what we call our rear ends) The gate guard said the Sergeant Major saw this as he passed me. Now, I immediately jumped and said, "Well, that's funny how he was upset that I was speeding as he PASSED ME!."
Now, I tell this story to say this...Of course I am right that this particular guy was speeding as well, however, was it necessary to become immediately defensive and point out his wrong instead of just saying, "Yes, I know better, it won't happen again." My point is that more and more it seems that out nature will not let us accept criticism. I see it all the time. Someone corrects us and we immediately let them know what they do wrong and criticize them. It seems to me that people have gotten so touchy that we can't even correct others without subjecting ourselves to criticism. Which is another reason why people are so afraid to step up and correct others when they are wrong. We are so afraid that when we do others will immediately call us on our faults.
When did this become commonplace? From what I know, we all have made mistakes. No one is perfect. We have all fallen from time to time and done things that we wish we wouldn't. So knowing that, shouldn't we accept constructive criticism? I recognize that all criticism is not constructive and we don't feel on top of the world when it happens. But that is how we learn. It's part of who I am as a Soldier, father, son, brother. We make mistakes and we are called on them and then we learn from the mistake and move on. Instead we hear a critique and then immediately jump to the defensive and start telling others what they do wrong. Now, how effective is this approach? Now we have made it where people will refrain from correcting others. Where there is no accountability. Where there is caution and apprehension when anyone takes the step to right a wrong. This completely negates our ability to hold each other accountable.
I surround myself with a certain type of person. Loyalty is something I value you very much. However, I expect my friends to snatch me up when I step out of line. There is a way to do this. It's very simple..."Hey man, can we talk?....Ok look this is what I saw....I thought you were wrong...this is why...I can't back that kind of behavior...I'm your boy and I stand behind you but this needs fixed." End of story. I have had many interactions like this with friends, fellow Soldiers, Family members. This type of relationship allows for accountability without doing what I call "putting someone on blast" aka publicly humiliating someone to get your point accross. That is never received well.
Accountability is a very valuable commodity to have in a relationship. Whether that be a friendship or whatever. We should all be able to hold each other accountable in a humble, meek way that helps each other out. I only pray that we all take a look in the mirror and can honestly assess ourselves when we are held accountable and not become defensive. This includes me...I would love to say when I was corrected for being on my phone and speeding I gladly accepted the criticism and apologized but as I pulled away from the gate with an attitude I couldnt help but think to myself..."He was right...what was I thinking...."
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
9/11 approaching...
As 9/11 approaches us I wanted to take a minute to think back about how everything changed for our world, our country, our military, and for my little just began family.....
I was stationed in Fort Gordon, Georgia and had been married almost a month. Samantha and I were quickly learning just how hard real life can be.....dealing with finances, learning to live with another person, growing together as one, among many other things. I remember vividly that we struggled, it was different, difficult for us both. She just leaving her house for the first time and just turning 18 years old. And me having been out for a year, full of my youthful ignorance not understanding why it was hard for her...why was I not enough for her? Why was our life together not enough after such a short time? These were the insecure things I thought at my young age.
I was in school learning how to do my lab tech job...dying slowly, trying to keep my eyes open learning how we find out how to run a machine that a monkey could operate...all of a sudden people went running to the break room and as a student and a private in the Army I was like sweeeet no more work today! Little did I know this scramble for room around a TV was just the beginning of my work as a Soldier. I found a spot and watched in complete shock and amazement at the destruction. I immiediately attempted to call my new wife to see if she saw this only to find out that the cell phone network were all busy and all the lines on the base were shut off as well. I couldn't completely understand what was going on and only later did I realize what truly happened that night when I was finally released and allowed to go home to see my wife. We sat together in our tiny...and I mean tiny apartment on our couch watching our small 21 inch tv we got from my grandfather. What we didn't know at the time was that not only these events would change our lives but something had already happened to change it further...
What we did know was that alot of people...innocent people died that day. We were attacked on our own soil and the thought of it was preposterous to me...my glaring confidence and thought that we were untouchable was gone. We were vulnerable. We were devestated. Our Nation hurt. I remember thinking this may change everything about what I expected of what me being a Soldier would be like. I was correct. Two deployments, which I will go into later, and alot of changes in my life.
What we should remember is the bravery shown by our emergency personnel that day....the firefighters showed such a crazy level of courage that I can only dream of. I think if the situation arose where I had to run into my house on fire to get my child or wife, I would....without hesitation. However, at that situation for total strangers I think I would do the same, but would we really?? Would there be a moment of hesitation? of Selfishness? Of Fear? Im sure there would be. Im just thankful that there were a group that pushed yhat fear aside and went to rescue fellow Americans. They risked and some of them gave everything so that the people they saved would have a chance at life...As a man I think we all hope we would have that courage. That we would have that drive and gut to disregard ourselves and be heroes. These men showed extraordinary bravery and should never be forgotten. These man and women stepped up and I am in awe of the courage. Remember these Americans....
My life changed and shortly thereafter we found out that we were bringing our daughter into this newly changed world. Let's all take time to look around...look at what we have been given. what God has blessed us with. What treasures are in our lives instead of complaining about the little things let's see the value in our family and friends...in our smiles and laughs ...in cheers at football games and moments together.
9/11 may we never forget....
I was stationed in Fort Gordon, Georgia and had been married almost a month. Samantha and I were quickly learning just how hard real life can be.....dealing with finances, learning to live with another person, growing together as one, among many other things. I remember vividly that we struggled, it was different, difficult for us both. She just leaving her house for the first time and just turning 18 years old. And me having been out for a year, full of my youthful ignorance not understanding why it was hard for her...why was I not enough for her? Why was our life together not enough after such a short time? These were the insecure things I thought at my young age.
I was in school learning how to do my lab tech job...dying slowly, trying to keep my eyes open learning how we find out how to run a machine that a monkey could operate...all of a sudden people went running to the break room and as a student and a private in the Army I was like sweeeet no more work today! Little did I know this scramble for room around a TV was just the beginning of my work as a Soldier. I found a spot and watched in complete shock and amazement at the destruction. I immiediately attempted to call my new wife to see if she saw this only to find out that the cell phone network were all busy and all the lines on the base were shut off as well. I couldn't completely understand what was going on and only later did I realize what truly happened that night when I was finally released and allowed to go home to see my wife. We sat together in our tiny...and I mean tiny apartment on our couch watching our small 21 inch tv we got from my grandfather. What we didn't know at the time was that not only these events would change our lives but something had already happened to change it further...
What we did know was that alot of people...innocent people died that day. We were attacked on our own soil and the thought of it was preposterous to me...my glaring confidence and thought that we were untouchable was gone. We were vulnerable. We were devestated. Our Nation hurt. I remember thinking this may change everything about what I expected of what me being a Soldier would be like. I was correct. Two deployments, which I will go into later, and alot of changes in my life.
What we should remember is the bravery shown by our emergency personnel that day....the firefighters showed such a crazy level of courage that I can only dream of. I think if the situation arose where I had to run into my house on fire to get my child or wife, I would....without hesitation. However, at that situation for total strangers I think I would do the same, but would we really?? Would there be a moment of hesitation? of Selfishness? Of Fear? Im sure there would be. Im just thankful that there were a group that pushed yhat fear aside and went to rescue fellow Americans. They risked and some of them gave everything so that the people they saved would have a chance at life...As a man I think we all hope we would have that courage. That we would have that drive and gut to disregard ourselves and be heroes. These men showed extraordinary bravery and should never be forgotten. These man and women stepped up and I am in awe of the courage. Remember these Americans....
My life changed and shortly thereafter we found out that we were bringing our daughter into this newly changed world. Let's all take time to look around...look at what we have been given. what God has blessed us with. What treasures are in our lives instead of complaining about the little things let's see the value in our family and friends...in our smiles and laughs ...in cheers at football games and moments together.
9/11 may we never forget....
Life Lessons....
Ok, so this will be a very new thing for me for all of those who know me well. My plan is to write the various things I have learned throughout my crazy life. Through Life's Lessons we grow, we mature, we develop as a person. We can take these lessons and use them to better ourselves or we can let them destroy us. Which is one reason I think we undervalue those in our lives with more "experience". We should look to them and learn, absorb as much as possible so we don't make those same mistakes, so we can learn from their example what works and what doesn't. We each have our own trials we must go through that no one else will ever understand. Its what makes us who we are...defines our character...I in no way think I am in a position to teach anyone but as a Father and a Soldier with 11 years of experience I know we don't always have to be in a Leadership Position to be a Leader....eyes are always watching and people are affected by our day to day actions whether we seem to realize it or not. I hope at the least that this will provide some insight to someone, anyone and helps them through times that may seem unbearable.
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