So, an awesome thing happened to me the other day. As most of you know I am an Army Recruiter so I spend alot of time driving around in a government vehicle to schools and other places. As you can imagine there are alot and I mean ALOT of rules that apply to make sure our vehicles are taken care of and not abused. Alot is basic safety stuff. I was driving down a pretty busy Rucker Boulevard headed to Ozark to go to the high school and recieved a text message on my cell. Well, of course we are not supposed to be on our phones while driving and I suggest no one does, but I grabbed my phone and checked it as my phone has a preview thing it does to show me what the alert is. Just as soon as I picked up the phone and glanced down, I glanced back up and looked to my left and there was another military guy on a motorcycle peering into my car with a very, very unhappy look. I disregarded it and pulled over for gas. Once, I got to the gate I was asked by the Gate guard if I had stopped for gas which I thought was a very peculiar question. I replied that I had and he proceeded to tell me that the Soldier on the motorcycle was in fact a Sergeant Major and told him to inform me that I knew I was not supposed to be on a cell phone or speeding in a government vehicle and I needed to pull my head out of my Fifth point of contact. (Which for those who dont know is what we call our rear ends) The gate guard said the Sergeant Major saw this as he passed me. Now, I immediately jumped and said, "Well, that's funny how he was upset that I was speeding as he PASSED ME!."
Now, I tell this story to say this...Of course I am right that this particular guy was speeding as well, however, was it necessary to become immediately defensive and point out his wrong instead of just saying, "Yes, I know better, it won't happen again." My point is that more and more it seems that out nature will not let us accept criticism. I see it all the time. Someone corrects us and we immediately let them know what they do wrong and criticize them. It seems to me that people have gotten so touchy that we can't even correct others without subjecting ourselves to criticism. Which is another reason why people are so afraid to step up and correct others when they are wrong. We are so afraid that when we do others will immediately call us on our faults.
When did this become commonplace? From what I know, we all have made mistakes. No one is perfect. We have all fallen from time to time and done things that we wish we wouldn't. So knowing that, shouldn't we accept constructive criticism? I recognize that all criticism is not constructive and we don't feel on top of the world when it happens. But that is how we learn. It's part of who I am as a Soldier, father, son, brother. We make mistakes and we are called on them and then we learn from the mistake and move on. Instead we hear a critique and then immediately jump to the defensive and start telling others what they do wrong. Now, how effective is this approach? Now we have made it where people will refrain from correcting others. Where there is no accountability. Where there is caution and apprehension when anyone takes the step to right a wrong. This completely negates our ability to hold each other accountable.
I surround myself with a certain type of person. Loyalty is something I value you very much. However, I expect my friends to snatch me up when I step out of line. There is a way to do this. It's very simple..."Hey man, can we talk?....Ok look this is what I saw....I thought you were wrong...this is why...I can't back that kind of behavior...I'm your boy and I stand behind you but this needs fixed." End of story. I have had many interactions like this with friends, fellow Soldiers, Family members. This type of relationship allows for accountability without doing what I call "putting someone on blast" aka publicly humiliating someone to get your point accross. That is never received well.
Accountability is a very valuable commodity to have in a relationship. Whether that be a friendship or whatever. We should all be able to hold each other accountable in a humble, meek way that helps each other out. I only pray that we all take a look in the mirror and can honestly assess ourselves when we are held accountable and not become defensive. This includes me...I would love to say when I was corrected for being on my phone and speeding I gladly accepted the criticism and apologized but as I pulled away from the gate with an attitude I couldnt help but think to myself..."He was right...what was I thinking...."
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